DEAR DIVORCE
I’m calling this blog – “Dear Divorce”…because I have given up forever talking to the ex. I finally hired a lawyer, I took the plunge and I’m out $2,500. In fact I sold my car just to get on with my life. Confusion! Confusion on the subject of love and marriage? Is it real? Let’s see what happens. There was a formula somewhere on how to get out of confusion on the subject of love, sex and relationships but I forgot it in a past life.
Am I confused on the subject of sex, love and relationships? In some respects yes, and in others no. According to some researchers the lowest condition a human being can sink to on the subject of sex, love, marriage, children, family and relationships is a state of confusion. Being perverted on any of those subjects is not part of confusion – who is to judge what is or isn’t perverted?
Ok, well if you insist, I will judge for you. If anything on those subjects is perverted, I won’t go as far as stating my pronounced judgment that the American legal system is no longer perverted – but just a tad bit aberated.
Case in point. Before I filed for divorce I had a net worth of $70 million. That was two years before I filed for the divorce. What happened during those two years is the subject of another book.
Put it this way – the ex was a major contributing factor to my being charged with terrorist threats and my being picked up by Homeland Security because I “threatened to blow up the Federal Reserve Bank Building in downtown Portland”, a total falsehood, and later she participated as a false witness in a staged perjured felony charge which landed me in Men’s Central Jail in LA.
After three years of long suffering I am today a very happy and free man! I am joyous and grateful to be alive and having survived that ordeal knowing that the record is expunged, the case was dropped to a misdemeanor and dismissed all in one fell swoop!
Now I have my justice and I am moving into new realms of responsibility and exciting opportunities.
One of them is finding another relationship which for me has been very difficult, leaving me celibate for the past three years and counting. So I am going to try something which I have not done in over 20 years. I am going to research the subject of love, sex, marriage, women, children, families, and based on my experiences I may or may not write a book – lord knows there are plenty of intellectualized books and a sea of information on this subject but if I don’t check in with my take on it, I will forever be forgotten as the man who stayed confused all his life.
I once read somewhere that in a condition of confusion the being or area will be in a state of random motion. There will be no real production, only disorder or confusion. Well, that pretty much describes my current relationship. We haven’t seen each other in three years. I haven’t seen my darling sweet little children in over two years, and we are certainly not producing anything as a family, or as a couple.
I spent a good two hours sorting through all the legal papers I had filed just in my divorce case.
The great news is that the former judge and her clerk were both recently fired according to my attorney, and that was probably the biggest breakthrough on my year and a half old dissolution of marriage case in Santa Monica Superior Court.
In order to get out of confusion one has to find out where they are.
It will be seen that the progress upward would be, in Confusion, find out where you are; in Treason, find out that you are; and for Enemy, find out who you are.
CONFUSION FORMULA:
The formula for Confusion is:
FINT OUT WHERE YOU ARE.
Note: It is important that the person who is in Confusion be cleared up on the definition of confusion: (This is done before the formula itself is started.)
Definitions:
1. Any set of factors or circumstances which do not seem to have any immediate solution.
More broadly, confusion in this universe is random motion. If you were to stand in heavy traffic you would be likely to feel confused by all the motion whizzing around you. If you were to stand in a heavy storm, with leaves and papers flying by, you would be likely to be confused. Confusion could be called an uncontrolled randomness.
Only those who can exert some control over that randomness can handle confusions. Those who cannot exert control actually breed confusions.
Confusion is only a confusion so long as all particles are in motion.
Confusion is only a confusion so long as no factor is clearly defined or understood.
Confusion is the basic cause of stupidity.
2. All confusion is unpatterned flow. The particles collide, bounce off each other and stay IN the area. Thus there is no product as to have a product something must flow OUT.
The additional formula for the condition of Confusion is:
1. Locational* on the area in which one is.
2. Comparing where one is to other areas where one was.
3. Repeat step 1.
*A Locational is done by walking around with the person, both indoors and out-of-doors, using the commands, "Look at that (indicated object.) Thank you," using objects such as a chair, a tree, a car, the floor, the ceiling, a house, etc.
The person running the Locational would point at the object each time. It is simply run until the person visibly brightens up and has cognition.
Now that I am a free man my ex is freaking out. She suffers from a severe disease known as Borderline Personality Disorder among other things and is on psychotropic medication and on welfare.
Her lawyer just sent my lawyer a letter stating that she wanted me to be responsible for all the income taxes on all the unreported income she earned while she was a prostitute in Fort Worth, Texas and Washington D.C. That is over a quarter million dollars.
She is terrified of abandonment yet she does things which insure that no man can live with her. She knows I could now leave LA and go anywhere in the world and never hear from me again but that is not my plan but even thus, she would not believe it in her own mind.
It is an impossible situation. She has had two surgeries since our breakup and she is on welfare with two children who she cannot take care of by herself, thus she is supported now by the State and her evil wicked mother.
She does not work because she has become co-dependent on her mother who pays for her rent and the two minor children who I have not visited with or seen for more than 2 years...closer to three.
I have had to find a second lawyer in Oregon to deal with the child custody, child support and child visitation issues which is costing me another $2,500 retainer. But I am in for the long haul and the battle of my life to separate myself from 13 years of hell and counting with a woman who near caused my death and undoing.
She has had me falsely arrested on at least five occasions, she has lied to police officers about me, she was even involved in providing tainted and misleading "evidence" on the case which I just had dismissed after three years of legal wrangling. She has even gone as far as reporting to the FBI that I was planning on blowing up the Federal Reserve Bank Building in Portland, Oregon four years ago when she knew I would never return to her.
Now I am in the middle of a divorce with this woman with whom I have been accused of abusing physically but I can assure you that I have never laid a violent hand on the woman...but the woman is insane and extremely dangerous to my survival and she knows that I in the past have been extremely afraid of her and her viscous actions behind the scenes which somehow I always seem to discover and uncover.
Our last go around in court involved a skirmish wherein I filed a motion for a permanent restraining order against her in Divorce Court. As soon as she was served she filed an Anti Stalking Order in Child Custody Court in Oregon.
In an attempt to bring about peace, I withdrew my motion for a restraining order in hopes that she would drop the one in Oregon but she didn't. Instead I had to face trial on a whole bunch of false and totally absurd allegations - she once told the FBI that I was a financial terrorist planning to blow up the Federal Reserve Building in Portland Oregon and I was arrested, questioned and released.
The Stalking Case was dismissed by the judge for lack of evidence and she advised us to get divorce counseling. The FBI case was laughed off by both the special agent and the homeland security officer.
I cannot tell you how much money I have spent on relationship counseling over a thirteen year period only to let you know - nothing except leaving her has helped me straighten out my own personal life and find stability and happiness. I am no longer in a state of confusion about my marriage, my children, and my sexual energy.
After sorting out all of these hundreds of incidents I have experienced at the hands of this woman who claims to be a Christian but suffers from serious character defects, I know who I am, I know where I am, I know what I am and I know there is no doubt in my mind that we will never be together again, ever, for as long as I live.
She has filed bankruptcy twice in ten years getting away with fraudulently borrowing hundreds of thousands of dollars of cash and credit taken from American corporations and never having to repay the money. She has paid no taxes on all these ill gotten gains and probably never will even if the IRS catches up with her.
Unfortunately those debts are now mine because of community property laws and I intend to fully settle with all her creditors but if I don't take care of my own welfare, I will not be in a position to take care of the welfare of my own children and I cannot allow this woman to continue her attacks and covert operations designed to destroy my rights as a father and my freedom as a human being.
What I really seriously need help with quickly is finding a good private investigator who has enough muscle, teeth and legal connections in Lane County and/or the City of Eugene to dig up all her fraudulent dirt and forever shut this woman down and get her out of my life once and for all without causing my children further pain and suffering at her hands.
This is a difficult assignment because she has vowed to even ensure that I never see the children again and without a court order, she is liable to call the police and make up some more false allegations in an attempt to “protect” the children.
I will not go into her parenting skills, suffice it to say that I would not want to have her as my mother, but she unfortunately is the mother of my two minor children and I must now finally deal with and confront her through the legal system and terminatedly handle this ongoing situation.
This may cost me more than the $2,500 I bargained for, but I am hoping and praying that she will cease and desist from expecting any sort of alimony from me. I would not care if this woman was on her dying deathbed, I would not even weep a single tear for her. I don’t think I have ever hated any human being more than this woman in my entire life. I thought I hated my mother once. This woman is worse than ten of my mothers.
She continues to invade my life and privacy so that my emails received at various email addresses are not secure. She has broken into my email accounts once again (this has happened on dozens of occasions) and has been calling my friends to find out where I am living, where I am working, and whatever.
The way I know she is into my emails is when I am online at a certain time of the day, usually when the children are down for the evening, I can see which emails have been read already and which have not.
All too often during the past three years I have seen emails which I have never read marked as having been “read”.
This indicates to me that someone if not her, has read one or more of my emails and while she is in the middle of reading an email she cannot change the read back to “unread”.
Thus I have caught her red handed doing this on least over a dozen occasions.
I recently got hired at a mortgage loan company that pays me a guaranteed base salary of $1,500 a month. Within 3 days of starting work, which I only shared with a few friends via email and telephone conversations, someone "allegedly" from the State of Oregon called the CFO of my new employer to ask if "Gabe" worked there.
Now the state of Oregon doesn't know me as Gabe. They know me as Alex S. Gabor. Only my friends and my ex know me as Gabe...anyway the point is my ex is a rabid hound and is not above pretexting, something which is now against the law in California but which she has successfully gotten away with many times in the past.
She still accesses my voicemails and my cell phone records through the internet simply by entering my phone number, my email address, my birthday and my social security number.
Lately she hasn’t sent any nasty emails to my friends pretending to be someone only her and I could possibly have known about because the email address she used was named after I fictitious character I used to imitate who was known as Felicia, a gay cross-dressing moron that acts like the three stooges in one personality.
She wants me to pay her $1,500 a month for child support and $1,000 a month for alimony and has threatened in prior correspondence with having me arrested again if I don't pay it.
Now her lawyer has advised my lawyer that she is going to seek my tax returns for the past three years and base her calculations on how much she should get based on that.
Based on my calculations this woman owes me about $2 million for every little piece of dirt that I have on her. Unfortunately, I must wait to see what she does in these last days of our divorce…if it requires us going to trial- then the whole world will probably hear about it because after all, I am a famous writer now!
I consider this a form of extortion. I have filed a lawsuit against her and the state of Oregon on this issue of child support, child custody and child visitation, and the taking away of my civil rights, however the case is now being rewritten and refiled in a different jurisdiction and I must focus on paying an attorney in Oregon who can do the following:
1. Obtain a lawyer pro bono to represent the interests of my two minor children separate from my own interests. This can be done by a motion made by my attorney in Lane County Circuit Court.
2. File whatever legal papers are necessary to accomplish the following:
a) Get her to cease and desist from contacting any of my employers, my agents, my representatives, or my friends and associates without my written permission.
b) Get the State to reduce the back child support amount by giving me a credit for the six years I was homeless and couldn't pay child support because of my former addictions.
c) Establish a fair and just child support amount and arrearage balance coupled with my children’s rights to have them visit their father in California at least two weeks out of the year at his own expense without supervision and to visit his children in Eugene, Oregon or wherever they live every weekend away from their residence and without any contact with the Ex.
Now that I have found a lawyer in Oregon who is studying the case in detail, after having shelled out more than $200 in legal fees already on this issue, leaving me down to the last $500 in my checking account, I must be patient and wait to see if she will take the case. I sent her four inches of documents on the child custody issues alone.
If I could accomplish those three goals within the next 90 to 120 days I would be the happiest man to be able to see my children again and allow them to have fun here in Southern California. If you can within your vast network of contacts and friends help connect me with the right legal counsel in Oregon who has the privilege of practicing law in Lane County Circuit Court...I will be grateful forever.
I am not ashamed to share this information...I've already cleaned up so much wreckage but sometimes our piles are so deep we need the help of friends to steer clear of the next one. So your assistance is well appreciated.
Unfortunately as things have progressed, I am now more inclined than ever to leave America and return to Canada where I haven’t lived since I was a preteen.
I have posted my resume on BC jobs and will actively pursue a career in the banking industry in Canada. After one year, if I have not had contact with her, Canadian law will allow me to divorce her by publication at no cost to me.
It will then be up to the State of Oregon to find me and while they are looking for me, the United States economy, particularly Oregon’s, will be devastated by the truth coming out about the legal, financial and economic systems which crumble as I write.
It pains me to think it may mean I will not see my children for another year at least, but be that as it may, there will be alternatives to legal courtroom battles that cost a fortune and drain me of my energies.
I am rejuvenated in the knowledge that whatever is going on with me legally it is all just temporary and it too will soon pass.
POST SCRIPT
Looking back on all this now after the divorce was final; I realize that a lot of my troubles stem from my own stinkin thinking.
The divorce was final on August 8th, 2007 and everything negative I have ever written about my ex was wrong because she let me see the children after three years in Eugene, Oregon two months after the divorce was final.
The look of joy in my son Connor’s eyes when I snuck up on him and surprised him was enough to blow away any further resentments I may have had toward my ex, forever. Now I am in regular contact with my youngest son, Connor whose birthday party I will attend next month, and I am still working on getting my 12 year old, Christian, to overcome his resentments toward me for having "abondoned" him in Reno, Nevada (more on this later).
As far as the ex mother in law goes, whom I also spotted while visiting last month, she is something I cannot control or change and thanks to God, I have finally recognized that with the wisdom to know the difference of then and now.
