Friday, November 23, 2007

JUSTICE

JUSTICE

By: Alex S. Gabor

Recently in January of 2005, I filed a petition for dissolution of marriage from a woman I have married twice and who has bore me two children who I have not seen now for over a year and a half. I filed for divorce because of resentments I had over various issues that arose during our relationship, which I thought, were irreconcilable.

The main reason I filed the suit against my wife was because she had over the course of several years refused to return certain property (mostly intellectual), which belonged to me and was dear to my heart. Poems I had written when I was young, short stories, and data on a computer hard drive which related to former business deals gone sour. Countless items of irreplaceable memorabilia of my personal life, which have no value to her, but which may some day be of historic significance to others who touched my life.

In the process of seeking justice, I saw no other way than to proceed through the courts by filing a motion for a temporary restraining order preventing her from hanging on to the property. I had tried to file it ex-parte, meaning without her knowledge before it was filed, however the court ordered that she be served with the papers and the motions and that she respond to them.

The filing was a motion to obtain a restraining order, and no order existed restraining my wife from talking to me. Less than two weeks after she was served with the motion to obtain a restraining order she filed an ex-parte automatic order to prevent stalking, which despite my attempts to have it dismissed, the court in Lane County Oregon continued the order pending trial. We live a thousand miles apart.

I had filed another motion to set aside her response to the divorce filing because she had not disclosed her assets or answered an interrogatory. However, in her response to that motion, and the motion for the restraining order, she brought to light the numerous false police reports she filed against me during the course of our on again-off again ten year relationship, another key element of my reasons for obtaining a restraining order against her. She has caused me to be falsely arrested at least half a dozen times in the past decade. I could not be nor was I ever arrested for taking drugs or drinking, but I could be arrested based on the false testimony of my own wife.

The process of recovery does not happen over night. In my own recovery I have learned that one has to be brutally honest with oneself in order to stay clean and sober. I am proud to say that with the grace of the almighty higher power that has guided my spiritual path I have maintained my sobriety for twenty-five months and five days today.

It is said that one should seek the truth and the truth shall set us free. During the course of my recovery over the past 25 months I have discovered a corollary to that little bit of wisdom. One should seek to discover the lies, which cover up and mask the truth, for in knowing the lies, therein the truth becomes self-evident.

In the process of seeking to recover the property that I had left in the possession of my wife when I left her over two years ago in Reno Nevada because of all the lies we both foisted upon each other, and the seemingly endless mutual verbal and physical abuse we had caused each other as a result of our codependent relationship, and for the sake of the sanity of our children, I realized that whatever wrongs, real or imaginary, that I may have committed were because of my own illness.

My higher power, which I still prefer to call the “infinite infinitor of infinities”, has seen fit to bless me with two things that matter to me more than anything else.

The first is my consciousness of the existence of my higher power and my direct minute-to-minute contact with it.

The second is the peace and serenity that comes with overcoming all odds in the face of hatred, lies and injustice and being able to continue to love my fellow human beings despite all the infinite reasons I might find to do otherwise. This ability is one among many which only my higher power could teach me.

My higher power has blessed me further with daily guidance away from my own illness and onto a spiritual path that leads to immortality. Neither my wife, or the criminal justice system, or the civil courts could or would have ever cured me of my illness, despite their vain attempts to do so for a quarter century. Therein lies my justice.

After nine months of serious daily prayer, meditation and contemplation following the initial filing for divorce, I realized that if it was god’s will that I have my property back, I would already have it. As a result of this epiphany, this morning I asked the judge to dismiss my motion for a permanent restraining order against my wife, and the motion to strike her responses, and to dismiss the entire divorce proceedings.

Graciously the judge granted the withdrawal of my motions without prejudice, however in order to dismiss the divorce, it requires an agreement on the part of both my wife and myself. When we took our vows, we agreed that what the infinite has created let no man (or woman) put asunder, and till death do us part, through thick and thin, through sickness and health, through richer or poorer, and so the oaths persist.

I had wanted to communicate all of the above to the judge and to my wife, but time would not permit it, and life being as short as it is, I wanted my readers to know that I am well, and life moves on, despite all rumors of my suicide to the contrary.

In the end, the only power in the universe that can mete out justice is the infinite infinitor of infinities. In the hands of man, it is an unlimited weapon of mass destruction.